I'm thankful for . . .
#19 TENDER MERCIES OF THE LORD
This picture (by Del Parson) isn't completely connected, but I was looking for a good picture of Christ,
and I fell in LOVE with this one and had to post it. It's simply beautiful and powerful. *Disclaimer: This is really long.As many of you know, today was Fast Sunday in church. When I got there, I was surprised (guilty) to realize I actually really wanted to bear my testimony. I've done it more in this ward than I have in my like . . . life (guilty again). But I still was surprised. And nervous. So I kept waiting for one more person to go. And then we were out of time. :( So I'm bearing my testimony on the tender mercies of the Lord via my blog instead! I just needed to share it.
A few years ago, in General Conference, President Henry B. Eyring gave a talk titled "O, Remember, Remember." I don't know if I've ever mentioned this talk before, but it had a bigger impression on me than almost any other talk I've ever heard. I hate to admit it, but I thought about it for years and felt like I should do what he said he did. But I never did. He asked himself a question every day: "Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?" A few months ago, I finally did what I always felt I should do, and I began to ask myself that question every day. I didn't miss a single day. Eventually, I basically couldn't. And from the very first day, my life completely changed. I was going through a rough spot, and I just was not feeling great about much of anything. But as I took the time every day to see God's hand in my life, that all changed. Now, I regret to tell you that the first day I missed asking the question/writing in my journal was the beginning of the end. I haven't done it since. Even though that's the case, I will FOREVER be grateful for that talk and for the strength I found to do it myself.
And now the reason I felt the need to talk about this today. Lately I feel like my Heavenly Father has been encouraging me to start it up again. I'm seeing His hand in my life so much, without even trying. So many things keep happening just when I need them to happen, and my testimony of the tender mercies of the Lord has grown so much. It's amazing. Literally day after day something would happen and I would know instantly that it was the blessing I needed at that moment. The biggest one was a week and a half ago. I had a group project/presentation for the Accounting program. It terrified me and it was so hard. But even though I was nervous, I felt like I knew my part for the presentation part. So I was the first to go, and I stepped up to the plate . . . and totally missed. It was bad. I forgot what I was going to say. Luckily, I didn't forget it completely and the last half went alright. But the first half was really not good at all.
So I left the building feeling like the world was over basically. I was on the verge of tears and I just knew with every fiber of my being that I had chosen the wrong major and I was never going to succeed in this terrifying business world. Yes, it was quite the downer moment. It was the final straw in the already constant feeling of being overwhelmed and inadequate the whole semester.
Here's the great part. I'm walking across campus to go to work for the next eight hours, fighting back the tears and wishing I could just go home and sleep or something. Suddenly, I see a friend I hadn't seen in a long time. We talked for ten or fifteen minutes, and when we parted ways, I was happy. Not just "Okay, I can handle this until I get done with work" or anything like that. I was literally happy. I went from being positive that my life was over to being honestly happy to be alive. The minute I saw her, I felt so strongly that she was the blessing I was receiving at that moment because my Heavenly Father knew I needed something right then and there. I know that He cared that I was so upset. And I know that He loves me enough that He was willing to bless me in the way that He knew I needed.
I am so grateful for my testimony. I don't know how I would survive this life if I didn't have the knowledge I have. I am grateful that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me more than I know and who really does care what is going on with me. I know that we are all children of God and that we have so much potential that it's actually overwhelming. And incredible. And I know that since we are His children, and He loves us, He blesses us every day. Our lives alone are a blessing in and of themselves. I know that if you take the time every day, you will notice ways He has blessed you. Every single day you can see His hand in your life. Because He loves you. More than you know. Our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ, want us to be happy. We just need to let the gospel help us do it.
