I used to think a lot about when to do what's right for someone else rather than what's right for yourself. Because sometimes the things that you need to do or change or say or choose are ideal for you but not for the other people involved. Sometimes, in order to do what's right for the other person, you must sacrifice what you need. But should you always do that?
All my life I've learned that it's more than just important to put others before yourself, it is basically essential to a truly happy life. Loving and serving others, no matter who they are, what they've done to you, or how busy you are, is a way to find peace and joy in your life. Being selfless is a good thing. But is there a point where selflessness can be distorted and changed to something less virtuous?
When is it not okay to do what's right for someone else instead of for yourself? When should you put yourself first? Or is there really no line to cross at all? Is there no such thing as being too selfless? Every single person is important and worthy of happiness. And everyone should feel that way about themself. They should believe that they have the right to be happy. They should know that they aren't inferior to everyone else. So where is the line that separates being humble and selfless from having low self-esteem and letting yourself be taken advantage of or used or broken at the expense of another's happiness? How can one really tell?
So I ask myself again, do I do what's right for me? Or do I do what's right for them and wrong for me? How much am I supposed to sacrifice? Everything? It doesn't seem right to be selfish but it doesn't seem right to sell myself short. Or am I missing the point altogether of selflessness? It seems as though one could never be too selfless.
Summer is a funny thing. All throughout the snowy, yucky Utah winters, I yearn for sunshine and swimming pools. Then May comes around and it starts to warm up a little. And by about the middle of May (unless it’s still snowing haha), it reaches temperatures that are just too hot for me. I’m a heat wuss. It’s true. I admit it.
However, that is going to change. Well, not really. I will still be a heat wuss. But I will appreciate the heat more instead of being so fickle. Because this year I got to be nudged into the heat by wonderful, sunny California and the happiest place on earth. So maybe the happy summer feelings will stay this year! Plus, I am going to get to go to Seven Peaks like every day . . . which is going to be so fun. So the yay summer feelings have got to stay with me, right? J
I love books. So very, very much. I can't even remember a time when I didn't love them. I have so many strong memories of books in my childhood. Stuffing blankets at the bottom of the door so my parents wouldn't see the light of my book light in the late hours of the night. Discovering a new series. That exciting feeling when you check out a book from the library. I went through books and series like there was no tomorrow. Series like Boxcar children, Babysitter's Club, Babysitter's Little Sister, Wizard of Oz . . . the list could go on and on. Some of them are worthy of remembering - some not so much. I can even remember the day I was introduced to Harry Potter. My teacher announced that there was a new book that was virtually unknown that we were going to read as a class. I'm so grateful that she introduced me to them before anyone knew about them. There's nothing that turns me off a book like it becoming popular.
My love for books hasn't diminished in the least. In fact, it's gotten so much stronger. Books are my absolute weak spot. Even more so than chocolate cake and Granny B pink cookies. Now I consume them like air. It's really quite ridiculous. Let's not even talk about how many books I've read just in the last month (okay, so maybe it was around eight) or how obsessive I get once I start one (I can't stop - literally; I have zero self-control).
Recently, I have read some especially amazing books. I cannot even begin to describe how much I loved them. And they have gotten me on a massive reading kick. I've had to lay off a little over the past few months/years, since I'm, you know, a full-time student with no time on my hands. But then someone (often Amber) will recommend a book to me . . . and I have no hope. I read it in one day and then can't stop thinking about it. So to get my mind off it, I have to read another. It's a vicious cycle. Good thing I really don't mind.
There have been definite benefits. For example, my reading habits have improved my reading skills and ability to absorb and remember information fast (my textbook studying needs appreciate it very much). And I guess there are some not so great things too . . . Like maybe they give me unrealistic expectations of love - I really can't imagine anything less than a dangerous vampire (not sparkly) from Scotland who owns a ranch with beautiful horses and is a nerdy high school English professor who I happen to meet while I am running a bridal business with my absolute best friends, and who may or may not be a leader of his vampire coven, a secret prince, a New York socialite, or a viscount. Totally realistic, right? :) But I'm okay with it. I will face reality someday. But for now, I'd rather not. I'd rather just read more books.
Because reading is amazing. And I highly recommend it. To everyone.
Seriously. Go pick up a book now. If you'd like, you can pick one from my list below!
Some current (or not so current) book obsessions
Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon
Savor the Moment by Nora Roberts (latest in Bridal Quartet series)
Blue Bloods series by Melissa de la Cruz
Burned by P.C. and Kristin Cast (latest in Marker series)
So I’m in a writing class this term, and for this class, we have to do a blog post every week. Therefore, by default I am going to be a better blogger starting now!
Yesterday I was trying to decide what to write/blog about. And, of course, while I was debating that, I had to look at all the blogs I love. Needless to say . . .I ended up going from link to link and spending hours looking at blogs instead of writing my post. But it wasn’t completely unproductive! I came across a lot of awesome things. On Snippet & Ink, there was this awesome link to a breakdown of beard trustworthiness. I laughed extremely hard and considered doing a blog post on that. But then I saw an even better link on Snippet & Ink. And that’s what I want to write about today.
It’s this giveaway fundraiser for a little six year old boy. His name’s Liam and he has a neuromuscular disease called Spinal Muscular Atrophy. His parents are having this giveaway to raise money to remodel a bathroom for him this summer that he can actually use on his own and that’s accessible for him. This little boy is ridiculously cute and I think this fundraiser is a wonderful thing. And the giveaway prizes are quite impressive. I am pretty much floored by the generosity of all of the people who are donating prizes. As I went through the list, which you can see here, I was surprised to see quite a few things from blogs/businesses/people that I am a big fan of and follow. Even if it wasn’t for a good cause, I’d want in on this. The fact that it’s for a good cause is just like a MAJOR plus! Actually, it makes it completely worth it.
After reading about the giveaway, I looked around the blog. The most recent post was amazing. I absolutely loved reading it. Please read it. This woman, Lynn (Liam’s mom), is incredible. I am so impressed by her, and she makes me want to be a better person. It was interesting though, because she talks about how people email her to tell her what an inspiration she is. Then she says, “honestly, I think – without meaning to disregard the goodwill meant by it – that I am doing what so many parents do all the time. Yes, different circumstances – ones I never imagined would be mine – but in the end, I love Liam and I am doing my best to advocate for him . . . This is what parents should do, when they are able, however they are able. I think that’s the best we can do, really.” The funny thing is . . . this is what really impressed me.
Yes, what she says is true. She is doing what so many parents do all the time and it is what parents should do, but that isn’t the most important part. The important part is that she is doing it. Just because there are other parents out there who do stuff just like her, it doesn’t make her any less inspiring for doing it. There are plenty of people in the world who wouldn’t handle the situation the same as her. More importantly, not everyone would have the same attitude that she has about it. She doesn’t pretend like it’s not hard, but she does show what she has learned from it and how it has changed her for the better. Maybe I don’t know her enough to be assuming some of this, but from what she wrote, she is letting this whole thing be a crucible for her. And that’s incredibly inspiring to me.
Now I don’t want this post to just be about Liam and his mom. (Although I do think you all should hop on over to the blog and donate if you feel so inclined.)I want it to be about more than just them. We all have struggles in our lives. Actually, a life wouldn’t be a life at all if there weren’t problems. If there was nothing bad, would we ever appreciate the good? No, we wouldn’t. We wouldn’t be able to. And if we never had struggles, we would never be able to grow like we can. These truths don’t necessarily make the struggles any more desirable, but sometimes it can help us have the strength we need to deal with them. So yes, we all have struggles. We will each have our own set of trials. Some of us might have a child that is really sick. Some of us might have to suffer through the death of a child. Some of us might never become a parent. Maybe you will never get married. Maybe you will lose your job . . . over and over and over. No matter what, the trials are hard. But at the same time, they are always for our benefit. It’s hard to remember this while we are going through them, but it’s true. We can learn so much from them. We can either let the trials break us or we can let them strengthen us. We always have the choice of being bitter or being grateful. We can all have a good attitude and do “the best we can do.”
